…..bored

when I’m bored , my hair takes the brunt of it.

I was bored with my last haircut;  so to solve that-- I cut it shorter.

And dyed it!

You like?

 

sorry for the crappy celly.

at a loss

 

I play nice here

 

I seem happy—smiley enough

But what I really want to do is………………………………………………………………………….. run away

 

and skip across an open field or frolic on a white sandy beach,  taking photographs all day and night

 

why am I here still here, why can’t I walk away?????

 

why…do I suddenly feel so damn stuck??

big changes

I need a new life……

 

Like in big, huge changes…..

 

how or to what I don’t know

 

just big---is all I know.

the problem is what?

I want to move back home. Getting to see my family a few weeks ago and enjoying everyone’s company just helped to solidify it. I’ve wanted to move back for years now.   I’ve had this nagging feeling that my folks won’t be around for very long and I’ll regret not seeing them more often.

Seeing my folks—older and frail, made me feel awful.

So what's’ the problem?

1. I hate San Antonio, Texas

2. Don’t want to be a part of all the family gossip—extended family I mean. I left home when I was 18 and can’t say I miss it.

3. Don’t have a job there—and as you know  (like most of you) I need to spend my own cash!!

4. Hubs is beyond happy with his career here.

5. Hubs said I could pack up and go by myself, he’d get a condo in DC until he could find a job in San Antonio. Market there is not all that great…so I’d imagine that would take a great while.

I don’t want to be selfish and take that offer up. But then I do.

fuck fuck fuck.

6. I get the feeling that when my kiddo leaves me for college I’ll fall part and perhaps abandon ship. How selfish is that?

How do I keep my family together and still get back home?

advice….

 

 

from Klaus—get moving and discover the world!

from the metro guide—enjoy your afternoon!!

me: I will!

him: and you shall, but don’t forget to get yourself a big jar and fill it with that joy and perhaps some sunshine  to save for a rainy day—cause you never know when you’re gonna need it!!!

me:  Thank you—well said my friend, I’ll take your advice to heart.

from the lady in seat 15C--who gasped as we descended from the uber fluffy white clouds onto the SATX airport and into grey misty skies.

(In Spanish of course)— mira mira, así es como el cielo se verá, simplemente extraordinario, tú y yo llegaremos a verlo algún día. Pero no hoy.

translation:

“Look, look--that is how heaven will look; simply extraordinary”, you and I will get to see it one day. Just not today! (thank you for thinking I’ll make it into heaven—I’ll keep looking!)

I’ve never seen clouds so magnificent—so fluffy, usually they are just a mist as we descend, this was not an ordinary sight—something that made half the plane gasp in awe and others weep—to include me. I can’t say for sure if it was the clouds, or that I was minutes from being back home, either way it was a moment of magic.

From my cousin John Nakasone—this weekend-- in private.

I don’t know how you live here. Maybe the fast life is not what you should be living. It’s not worth the stress, the money and loss of true life-- move back home before it kills you.

From my co-worker—Latosha

“Don’t forget to see the little signs too Luz..they are all around you. Maybe they mean something?”

 

WHAT IS EVERYONE AROUND ME TRYING TO TELL ME??

 

adventurous project

 

I found a new project off of Ali's blog. So in preparation of an online class I found interesting, I made this journal. Just 2 different scraps of fabric, a little ribbon and a trinket.

I may have jumped the start of this journal, but I suddenly found myself unable to control my anxiousness to get started.

I didn’t have the password to my Paypal acct to pay for the class, so I had to wait out the afternoon, before I could see what all class was really about.

 

Remains of the Day 

And guess what? I really LOVE IT!

Last night, I even worked on the inside; did some prep pages. I’m not going anywhere exciting, but I am going home next week (keep your fingers crossed) and I intend to use it in Texas.

 

PS….I not savvy enough for Typepad, I just couldn’t figure my way around it.

So I deleted that account, along with my first post.