big changes

I need a new life……

 

Like in big, huge changes…..

 

how or to what I don’t know

 

just big---is all I know.

the problem is what?

I want to move back home. Getting to see my family a few weeks ago and enjoying everyone’s company just helped to solidify it. I’ve wanted to move back for years now.   I’ve had this nagging feeling that my folks won’t be around for very long and I’ll regret not seeing them more often.

Seeing my folks—older and frail, made me feel awful.

So what's’ the problem?

1. I hate San Antonio, Texas

2. Don’t want to be a part of all the family gossip—extended family I mean. I left home when I was 18 and can’t say I miss it.

3. Don’t have a job there—and as you know  (like most of you) I need to spend my own cash!!

4. Hubs is beyond happy with his career here.

5. Hubs said I could pack up and go by myself, he’d get a condo in DC until he could find a job in San Antonio. Market there is not all that great…so I’d imagine that would take a great while.

I don’t want to be selfish and take that offer up. But then I do.

fuck fuck fuck.

6. I get the feeling that when my kiddo leaves me for college I’ll fall part and perhaps abandon ship. How selfish is that?

How do I keep my family together and still get back home?

advice….

 

 

from Klaus—get moving and discover the world!

from the metro guide—enjoy your afternoon!!

me: I will!

him: and you shall, but don’t forget to get yourself a big jar and fill it with that joy and perhaps some sunshine  to save for a rainy day—cause you never know when you’re gonna need it!!!

me:  Thank you—well said my friend, I’ll take your advice to heart.

from the lady in seat 15C--who gasped as we descended from the uber fluffy white clouds onto the SATX airport and into grey misty skies.

(In Spanish of course)— mira mira, así es como el cielo se verá, simplemente extraordinario, tú y yo llegaremos a verlo algún día. Pero no hoy.

translation:

“Look, look--that is how heaven will look; simply extraordinary”, you and I will get to see it one day. Just not today! (thank you for thinking I’ll make it into heaven—I’ll keep looking!)

I’ve never seen clouds so magnificent—so fluffy, usually they are just a mist as we descend, this was not an ordinary sight—something that made half the plane gasp in awe and others weep—to include me. I can’t say for sure if it was the clouds, or that I was minutes from being back home, either way it was a moment of magic.

From my cousin John Nakasone—this weekend-- in private.

I don’t know how you live here. Maybe the fast life is not what you should be living. It’s not worth the stress, the money and loss of true life-- move back home before it kills you.

From my co-worker—Latosha

“Don’t forget to see the little signs too Luz..they are all around you. Maybe they mean something?”

 

WHAT IS EVERYONE AROUND ME TRYING TO TELL ME??